How the heck do you get clarity?



I recently hosted an online book signing event and surveyed the Badass attendees on what area of their life they were looking to Up-Level in 2018. I gave them a list to start thinking about the areas of their life that they would like to improve upon, make different, have a shift.

  • Health

  • Wealth

  • Relationships

  • Spirituality

  • Self Care

  • You Mindset

  • Home Life

  • Education

  • Career

  • Creativity

  • Physical Activity

  • Social Life

Answers varied, as I am sure you could imagine, because as individuals we all have different dreams, goals, problems, and circumstances. I loved seeing the diversity in the areas they wanted help with, and then I kept seeing that common question I always get, which was HOW DO I?  

I love How questions, because I am a doer. I have mastered the How, and that is probably why people seek me out, I am an actionable coach. I definitely have tools in my book that outline How. But first, before you start moving forward, you need to know where you are going. 

Before I help anyone get into action, we first must step back and focus on where they are headed. In Simon Sinek's, the Golden Circle, he shares the importance of knowing your Why. Why do you want to see a different version of the area of life you are trying to improve upon. If you don't know Why you want it, then you won't stay steady when you are challenged by all powers that be that try to push you back from achieving it. You won't be able to prioritize against other demands and stay focused on the end goal. You won't feel a true sense of accomplishment if your Why is not clear!

In the Golden Circle example, the next ring exemplifies the How. I want to skip the How for now, to focus on the What. In my life's work, whether it is working with an individual or a company on achieving a goal, I like to start with understanding the Why and the What, then I can help them design the most effective How, to achieve it.

The Golden Circle Ted Talk had a focus on helping leaders understand the importance of connected to Why they were producing the products and services of their company. "People buy for Why you do it, not How or What?" If you are clear about Why, the How and What can withstand adversity.

Same applies to achieving the life you envision. As an individual you can leverage this same lesson, and how it aligns with the tools I share with my client base. 

  • When you know WHAT you want, you can charter a plan towards it.

  • When you know WHY, you want it, you will stay the course.

  • The HOW, is what gets you from a dream to reality.

Tool #1 in my book is to dream again, and visualize you life without any limitations. Whether you write it out or create a vision board, it helps you outline the WHAT! The Mantra for this exercise in my book is I AM BOLD. To assist you in thinking big an let go of the critical mind that says "you can't" or "that will never happen" and just be bold in documenting what you want your life to look like. You can do this for one area of your life, but I suggest you do it for all, so it is a full picture, not a lop-sided one.

Here are some questions to help you get started:

When you daydream, what comes up for you?

What do you wish your life was like?

What do you desire most?

How does it smell, taste, and feel?

Who is with you? 

What are the places you choose to go?

Who's life are you impacting?

What does your home look like?

What kind of clothes are you wearing?

Where do you hangout?

What kind of food are you eating?

Who do you admire?

Who do you want to have a deeper connection with?

What do your finances look like?

What words come to mind when someone describes how you show up in the world?

How do you want to feel every day?

Be Bold when you start to answer these questions or put your vision board together to exemplify the world you want to live in. This exercise gets you to map out the ultimate vision for your life. It starts to give you clarity on the direction you are headed and why you want it so bad. After you put your vision together, ask yourself, "Why do I want this? What would I feel like if I accomplished this? What would I be able to do for others if my life represented this vision" Write your answers down.

This will help you find the clarity you need on WHAT you want out of life, and start diving into Why you want it! In my next post I will share how you assess assess what areas of your life are already accomplishing this dream lifestyle, and what areas need to be improved upon, aka up-leveled. 

If you are ready to dive in and get into action towards your Badass Life, you MUST join the Be A Badass Community! Once you join, you will get a free copy of the Be A Badass Workbook that accompanies my Be A Badass: Six Tools To Up Level Your Life book. 

For each new Badass that joins the community, I will be donating $5 to No Kid Hungry, and organization I love to support because it gets kids in need fed! Each dollar donated creates 10 meals!!